This Top Ten list is based on 'true happenings' in my precious husband's life.
10. Cut his hair really short so he won’t need a haircut for several months.
9. When making him a sandwich, leave the wrapper on the cheese or the rind on the bologna.8. Always do things the way he asks. Occasionally do things just the opposite.
7. Take his truck mudding. Make sure you splash muddy water up under the hood.
6. When grilling use gasoline. It will make his Father’s Day more memorable.
5. Place a rubber cricket in his billfold, underwear, PDA, etc.
4. When he’s working under the car and asks for a wrench, make sure you drop it within inches of his head.
3. When backing out of the driveway, forget to close the car door and knock the door off.
2. Put yellow cake coloring in his bathwater while he’s sleeping.
1. Sew up the fly of his underwear.
Proverbs 5:18 "May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth."
26 comments:
Thanks for the ideas.
Peace
Neva
Always glad to help out other Christian women and their husbands.....
Monalea
For all who read this post, you've gotta know all these things really happened. They are my proof of my undying love for her. Through them, through her, God has given to me the qualities of patience and endurance. I would not change a thing. Love you sweetie. Daryl
awwwwwww
n
BTW, dear sister, since you gave me ideas, would you like some of mine?
Just kidding, Daryl, really (wink, wink)
love
neva
Wish I would have thought of these before my divorce. Maybe things would have been a whole lot better. Who knows...But they are funny anyway. You make me laugh..RC
Dear Father ... bless Daryl. He really needs it.
Amen
Daryl, I will remind you of what you wrote on this post the next time you are ready to choke me.
Neva, I'm slowing down and need some new ideas. Pass them on.
RC, I love making memories....especially if
1. no one gets hurt
2. you are the one doing all the
picking.
Love you!
Trey, he really does need extra prayers!
Monalea
Great blog!! I will be back for more
-0-0-
Awesome! That is too funny. I can picture a man's look when those kinds of things happen -- I am looking forward to dying the bathwater. (o; Sounds silly!!
Mike,
Glad you will be back for more!
Lisa,
I'm so glad you have decided to get your man's attention. Let me know how it goes.
Monalea
Monalea, great top ten. can't believe some of those
How about:
Pack his lunch with a hotdog or polish sausage dressed up in Barbie clothes.
Starch his underwear with the liquid starch.
Put a love note on his sandwich between the mustard and the meat.
Stand outside the shower door and when he steps out, shoot him with as many nerf bullets as you can fire.
Tell him you have an eyelash in your eye that you cant get out and when he gets real close, scream OWWWWWW!
Wait until he goes to sleep while you are driving and then edge over and hit the rumble bars.
These are few of the ones I would think about doing if I were not such a kind and considerate and submissive wife. :)
Peace
Neva
Matt, they are real!
Neva, I love the list. I'm going to make a mental note and try these out. I'll let you know how it goes.
Monalea
I lvoe you monalea!!
~misa~
Awwwww, Misa you are so very, very precious!
Monalea
First of all, great list from such a wise guru of marrital wisdom. James is very fortunate to have a wife that walks a strait line and only says "Yes, sir" so I can not provide any more amunition. Mr. Neva's wife on the other hand carries out her plans before she even gets the ideas in her head.
By the way, green food coloring in cakes makes for interesting poop. Scares 'em everytime.
I love you all,
Kathy
Everytime you tell one of these stories that you have done to Daryl they just make me roll...Especially bout the underwear...How many more tricks to you have up your sleeve? RC
Kathy, Neva has some great ideas...
RC, You will just have to wait to see what tricks I have up my sleeve????
Monalea,
Neva isn't contemplating these ideas. She has already taken action long ago. She loves the nerf darts especially. She too does these on purpose but they have an element of humor. On the other hand my greatest torture is when she, my in line wife, gets hold of an ingrown hair or something. She loves to find stray hairs that aren't really stray. THEY ARE ATTACHED. Some of her kindnesses would be kindnesses if I was not caught off guard. Cold Aloe Vera gel is nice if you are expecting it.
Hopefully you won't try one of these tricks on me...LOL...but I will be watching my back...RC
Just so everyone knows----Mr. Neva smiles all the time and is never ever ever bored!
Is he frightened? perhaps
Is he delirious? maybe
Is he drugged out of his mind? could be.
However the above mentioned "ideas" made his dear wife smile for days and shouldn't that be the goal of a good husband? To make his wife happy!
I think so!
Peace
Neva
BTW--The "stray" hair thing is very much fun--kinda like a day at the amusement park, the ride is almost as much fun as the fear and terror on the face of the riders!
teehee
n
RC, I'll try to contain myself. No promises!
Neva, Now I know why Mr. Neva's expressions look different now that ya'll are married. I almost didn't recognize him the first time I saw him after marrage. ha ha
James,
What is the difference between an "in-line" wife and an "on-line" wife? Did you guys meet while skating?
Teehee--sometimes I humor me.
N
Neva, when I make jokes and then laugh at my own jokes, my daughter's say, "Mom, you're 'cracking your on crackers'" and then they laugh at me. Sooooo.....Neva, you are 'cracking your own crackers' and I'm laughing at (with) you!
Monalea
I'm laughing at you too!
tGiggler
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