I knew that 2 + 2 equaled 4, but I couldn’t get the math to work for the reality of the dark. The reality being 7 kids in a small house + no real valuables equal no break-in. I knew that one day soon the break-in would occur then everyone would be sorry that they hadn’t listened to me.
I took my treasures the honey can and the paint brush to the backyard and began to paint honey on both of the gate latches, the garage door handle and all the windows. I was a genius! I could sleep tonight knowing that I had protected my family for the villain. I could close my eyes; turn down the volume in my ears and experience sweet sleep.
The next morning everyone was up doing chores and getting ready for school when I heard Mom yell, “Monalea!” I came around the corner and there stood Mom and my little brother Bruce. Bruce was holding out his hands with a look of disgust of his face. Pointing at Bruce’s hands Mom asked, “What is all over the gate that Bruce got all over his hands?” Wow, how did she know it was me out of 7 kids? Mom really did have superhuman powers.
If Mom’s had gaskets, here’s where hers would have blown. She drew a bead on me with her eyes, pointed her finger and said, “You will come in from school today and wash the gates, garage door and every window before we get ants.” The look on her face and the tone of her voice caused a small tremor to course though me. In other circumstance I might have clicked my heels together and said “Hile Hitler,” but I wanted to live. So I decided a “Yes Ma’am,” would suffice. None of my family really appreciated my ability to ‘think outside the box.’