Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Vinegar Diaries

Dear Diary,

My cousin said taking 2 tablespoons of vinegar 3 times a day would be good for me. Today I measured out 2 tablespoons of vinegar in a small glass. Hum, 2 TBS doesn’t look like much. I notice a nice brown color. I can do this. I pick up the glass, put it to my lips. Down goes the liquid and there goes my breath. I’m gasping for breath, my eyes are crossed………………..I LIVE!

Dear Diary,

Day 2 I have a new plan. I slowly measure out my 2 (now very large) TBS of vinegar. This time I will add water and dilute it. I am strong, brave and full of courage. I can do this. The pep talk doesn’t last long. I’m choking and gasping for breath once more.

Dear Diary,

Day 3 Today’s plan is to pour the vile drink and gulp it down. Today’s plan is to take more than one dose. I am strong, brave and full of courage. I can do this. I heat water, I pour the 2 TBS of vinegar into a coffee mug, I add a TB of honey, and I add the now heated hot water. I set down to enjoy my hot mug on vinegar honey water. Blaaaaaaaaaa! Enjoy was a bad word.

I plan to go back to the original plan. Down 2 TBS of vinegar. No pep talk this time. I pour the vinegar into the small glass, I chug it down. This time my head only spins twice.

Diary, I’m not sure what the results are going to be from this……………but my husband snuggled up to me today and said, “Ya know, I wouldn’t mind having a big juice pickle.” Little does he know………...


Anonymous said...


Please tell me you, in some strange way, were trying to be funny.

Don't you have enough going on in your life? You need a new cousin! That one would be fired it it was me!

You better come to Nebraska with us. obviously these people don't appreciate you!

Mr neva

Monalea said...

Mr. Neva,

I would love to go to Nebraska with you, but my entire family would follow me.

Google apple cider vinegar and look at all of the benefits. I could use all the help I can get. I feel like I have the body of a 99 year old. Oh wait, I had radiation and radiation ages you, so if you saw off my leg you can count my rings and I'm sure I'm well over 99.



Only you sister, only you.

Monalea said...

You will be saying 'only you sister, only you' when I live to be 150 because I'm pickled. Ha!


David Kirk said...

Pizza Hut used to make a buffalo chicken pizza that was 99 percent vinegar. Maybe it would have the same effect?

Monalea said...


Pizza Hut.....had a tramatic experience there!


Stachia said...

I had a cousin that was the youngest until I came along and she has always been trying to kill me with remedies like this. Have you done something to make this person mad at you cause this sounds gross.

Monalea said...


Ya gotta love those cousins!